"Good morning, Ladies and Gentlemen. This is your very
handsome Captain Banta Singh welcoming you to Punjab Airways.
Sorry we are four days late in taking off but I had to do some overtime at the bakery.
This is the one-two six flight to New Delhi.
We cannot guarantee that we will end up in Delhi but rest assured it will be some where in the East.
And if you are very lucky we may even be landing on your village!
A real Punjabi will
land where he wants to, isn't that right brothers! Today we have 12 passengers
on the plane - which is a bit of a problem because we only have 5 seats!
Hmmm. For safety reasons we will be counting all the passengers again during
and after the flight.
We have a very good record for safety. In fact we are so safe
even the terrorists are afraid to fly with us!
I am pleased to tell you that over 50% of our passengers end up at their destination.
For those of you who don't
make it, don't worry, our staff have lots of experience consoling
If, however, you are still worried then ask Stewardess
Bubbly to tell you about our out of court settlements.
We will do everything to make your journey an enjoyable one and
even a surviving one!
If our engines are too noisy for you, don't
worry, we'll turn them off!
We even make your fall to earth pleasant by serving
complimentary tea during free-fall!
And for our religious
passengers, we are the only airline who can help you find out if there really is a
Sadly, today's in-flight movie will not be shown because my son
forgot to record it from the television.
But if you really want to
then we will be glad to fly next to Air India so that you can look
movie through the window.
Although there is no-smoking in this
may find that During the flight you can see smoke in the cabin.
your good minds over this! It is only the early warning system on
telling us to slow down!
Yes, we are very advanced at Punjab
only do we provide you with a life jacket but we also give a free
costume to the aunties and a swimming short to the uncles! Some
happy to fly thousands of feet over landmarks but not Punjab
pleasure we try to get as close as possible for the best view.
go a little too close then please let us know.
too enthusiastic. Remember that guy who crashed into the White
is the same bloke!
Now kindly sit on your seat and tie your belt.
For those of you who can't find a belt please tie your own leather
belt to the door handle.
And for those of you who can't find a
your suitcase instead.
Sorry, but I won't be flying with you today
have to attend my nephew's wedding.
But please make yourself at
yourself to the cockpit.
Thank you for choosing Punjab Airways.
that we may not always take you on a flight but we'll definitely
******************* Have A Nice Day *******************